CMO 47: You Can Come Home Again!

Hello Journal,

I learned from a text message received from my cousin that Uncle Boga's wake is scheduled for the 22nd of this month at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Rowland Heights, California. Time: 5:30 to 8:00. The Rosary is scheduled for 6:00. Perhaps I can join my prayers to theirs at 8:00 Central Time on that day. The funeral Mass is scheduled for the 23rd at Noon.

Who knew when I saw my uncle together with Uncle Jess at mom's wake in 2019, that he would be laid to rest almost three years later in the same location?

"Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen."

The only relatives remaining on mom's side of the family as far as uncles and aunts go are Jess, Herb, Margaret, and Ofelia. Herb is Boga's brother. He is married to Margaret, mom's sister. Boga was married to Ofelia (Auntie Faye), also mom's sister. Boga and Herb are brothers.

Uncle Jess (Flores) was married to mom's sister, Lucy, who passed away several years back. I understand he is currently under hospice care. I will keep him and the family in prayer as well.

--

I have chatted briefly with Michael, my oldest son. He is doing well. He stated that he will stop by on Christmas Day to deliver gifts. The only gift I want is to see my son. I do not see him too often these days. Any time I get to see and hug any of my children is the gift I cherish most.

--

I am determined by the grace of God to learn Spanish and to read music again with the intention of learning to play the piano and guitar in 2022. I also intend to develop my relationship with the Lord, Our Lady, and the Church through daily prayer, reflection, spiritual reading, the sacraments, and service to my neighbors. I want to make up for the many years of neglect and wrongdoing on my part. I pray my Savior will grant me this. Still, His will be done.

--

I have been reflecting much lately, especially upon my sins. I do not have the life span of an adolescent child that I should continue to commit some of the same sins ad nauseam. Believe me when I say that I am grateful for the sacrament of reconciliation. However, I do not wish to take advantage of the sacrament as if it were a sweet confectionary delight in a candy store that could be plucked and purchased at will simply because it is there or has become habitual.

I want to go to confession each time with the intention to be truly sorry for my sins and to sin no more. I never want to presume on the Lord's mercy nor become scrupulous. All I want is to repent and change my life in such a way that I will be counted as a sheep rather than a goat.

Of course, I must not despair. As the sweet Savior said to St. Faustina, "His mercy is endless. There is no sin greater than His mercy. It is not punishment but mercy that He desires to lavish upon mankind."

We should not fear to go before Him and ask for His mercy and forgiveness. No matter the number of times we fall. That does not mean we can do what we want and ask forgiveness afterward. We must fight our temptations. Clear our minds of any inappropriate thoughts. Not place us in situations that could potentially lead to sin. However, if we should fall, we must not stay fallen. We need to get back up on our knees, ask forgiveness, give thanks to the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness, then rise, shake the dust from our clothes (or bodies) and try again, and again, and again until we have overcome that one annoying sin that has haunted us since time and memorial.

Which gives me pause to ask, "Is there really a place at the Lord's table for a sinner like me?"

Yes, there is. Sure, the Church is a human institution founded by the Logos, the second person of the most Holy Trinity. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1), Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition.

Being a human institution means mistakes or misstatements will be made. For instance, the priest who said to another priest about the Courage apostolate, "Why do you waste your time with that, it isn't even a real ministry."

That is a misstatement.

As a member of Courage, I can react with anger (which I did initially), or I can give thanks to the Father Creator and pray for that priest despite not knowing his name. I chose the latter. It is the right thing to do.

So, yes, there is a place for you at the table. We just have to remember that it isn't a perfect table. And that's okay. We love what is imperfect because God loves both the perfect and imperfect. If it is good enough for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit -- it is good enough for me.

We are not perfect either. We make mistakes. We hurt our neighbors too. Knowing that, would I want my neighbor to forgive me? Yes, I would. What if my neighbor refuses to forgive me? Then we give glory to God by forgiving our neighbor for their lack of mercy and charity. We forgive ourselves. We ask forgiveness from the Lord, pray for our neighbor, assist our neighbor should they need us (with love and joy in our hearts) and move on.

The point I am trying to make through this long-winded entry is that some of God's children are going to say or do things that might hurt us. We are guilty of that ourselves. However, we cannot and should not judge the many because of the one. Rather, we should forgive and pray for the one.

Come home (as you are). We will figure it out together as we walk together with Jesus.









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