CARLOS MICHAEL ONLINE

  What's Next!? In Thursday's "CMO 119" titled "What's Next?" I attempted to answer the question of what happens next now that the awards are over, my son is out of the house, my friends are on paths not lined up with mine, I am retired, unemployed (can I be both?), and have no money save for what the $400 per month, my family is on the "left" coast and I am about to drown in debt. You may ask, "Why in the world would you share that!?" Well, because it is true! But here is the kicker -- it's okay, but it's not okay.  It's not okay because when I was but a wee lad, I should have listened, planned, and acted better. Wait! Unless you are a young saint, most youngsters aren't going to quote "do the right thing all of the time." Not an excuse. Never should be. Just sayin'. Truth be told, 'I am where I am because I am a goof, punk, idiot, proud arrogant clod' who tried so hard to be somebody that he rem...

  Done! I originally began writing this on Wednesday, 08/19/26. Today is day five, post CANO Awards. I have begun what I said I would do on Tuesday 08/18/26—reduce spending, terminate unnecessary work accounts, and seek new revenue sources. Next up is generating a plan to move forward with. Here is what I did this morning.. I went through the Visa statement and cancelled the following accounts: 1.         Zoom (Reinstated until the end of 2026). 2.       Wix (Website) 3.       YouTube Premium (Reinstated until the end of 2026). 4.       Experian 5.       Microsoft CoPilot 6.       RIPL 7.        OpenArt 8.       HappyHorse 9.       DropBox 10.    Poster My Wall Savings: $221.37 per month I still have a way ...

  "Everything Will Be Okay!" This is more of rhetorical question. I am not really seeking an answer. Why is it when someone is hurting, depressed, angry, or just plain broken, we say to that person, “It will be okay. Everything will turn out okay in the end. You just gotta have faith.”   Don’t get me wrong, I understand the person expressing the words care, otherwise they wouldn’t waste their time attempting to console the individual in question. First, just because one is as I described above, especially a person of faith who has suddenly lost their faith because of how they are feeling. Faith is still within them. Sure, they may buckle under the weight of the event, experience, or tragedy. They might even be angry with God, I know I was yesterday, but in the end, most of us who are people of faith will return or hang onto that faith.   I responded the same way when it came to my son.   There were days when the episodes he experienced due to ASD, Intellectua...

  I know I have spoken about this before, but given what is happening today, I believe it bears repeating. There was a time when my mother was angry with me—or perhaps deeply hurt by me. It was a difficult season for both of us. Looking back now and remembering the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” I wish I had never caused her pain.  On that day, she said to me, “One day you will know what this pain feels like—the pain a parent carries for their child, and how deeply it hurts when that child is hurting, or when that child hurts you.” I believe she was speaking of mental and emotional pain, not physical pain.  At the time, I could not understand what she meant. Today, I do.  Since June 2024—and in some ways even earlier, beginning in 2021, before I understood what mental illness my son was living with—I have been walking alongside him through Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Intellectual Disability, and Schizophrenia. These past two years have be...

  Thoughts for today... Without a single word spoken, and in a moment already heavy with sadness, he left — and did not return. The silence that followed has now been broken by quiet moaning, and soon even that will fade as he moves on. She said, “You’re doing the right thing.” But what does she truly know about the right thing ? She has never carried the weight of being a parent. As Ward Cleaver once said, “Wrong is wrong and right is right no matter how many people are doing it.” Today’s culture would do well to remember those words. Apparently, I missed a payment. A payment for what? No services had been rendered. A friend accused me of being “bossy.” I thought I was simply being assertive. For the second year in a row, I’ve been blessed with an office space that remains unused. I messed up… again. Perhaps that is God’s way of keeping me humble — and He knows I need it. A friend passed away on Friday, July 17, 2026. My niece passed away one week later, on Friday, July 24, 2026...

  ☕ Coffee Break Reflection — “Rain on the Windowpane” Today feels like one of those soft, steady rainy days from my childhood in southern California—the kind where I would stand at the window and watch the drops fall in a slow, rhythmic dance. The rain always seemed to wash the dust from the earth, refresh the air, and then move on—eastward, northward—eventually becoming snow before turning back into rain again. I can still hear the quiet questions that used to rise in my young mind: Why does the rain fall? Where does the storm go when it leaves here? How much life does it destroy… and how much does it renew? What do the animals do when the rain doesn’t stop? How do they protect themselves? Those were the days before girlfriends, marriage, children, divorce, friendships, work, loss, and all the complicated chapters that come with adulthood. Life was simpler then—but not necessarily easier. Just different. And now here I am, in my mid‑60s. Mid‑60s! It is both a joy and a surprise ...